Mother's Day Do-Over

Isn't it possible to do a day over...especially if it's a day you automatically become a club member of when you have kids? Mother's Day like all major holidays mean a lot to me. Growing up in the Soup Bowl, holidays were a big deal in my family and my mom was and still is one of the best holiday makers in the country. She was great at it all...the cooking, the cleaning, the parties, the shopping, the perfect presents and most of all the happy memories. This would normally be a great thing except for the fact that my bar has always been set high and with high expectation often comes higher let-down.


I also admit I USED to be what I call a "Hallmark snob." A Hallmark snob is someone that unless you see the little gold crown on the back of the card then the card was probably just from a grocery store and thus not good enough for my standards. Allen learned early on that I wanted the gold crown card but these days a card from the Quick E Mart would serve just fine in my book.

As our family has grown and our lives have become busier, messier, less organized and often chaotic, my standard of what makes a great holiday certainly is no longer the dream of what was but what we can make of it now. And for now, that's OK with me.

It's ok with me UNTIL the deadly combination of things said and NOT said and things done and NOT done led to the 2010 Mother's Day meltdown.

I won't go into the rather scary details but there were certain flashes of a crying child underneath a restaurant table, a husband that forgot the words "Happy Mother's Day" and one mom screeching off in a black jeep just to start off.

After speaking to some other fellow mom's, it sounds like I wasn't the only one that wasn't brought breakfast in bed, slept in, went to the see the movie of their choice or left without criticism..event if it was just for one day. I heard that there is some website that women can sign up to cheat on their husbands and that on the day after Mother's Day the site had the largest enrollment of the year! That is CRAZY (the fact this website even exists) AND that obviously there are a lot of other Mother's out there feeling a touch taken for granted and not so special.

I was very pleased that when I got home from work on Monday that Allen and Cole had purchased me red roses and a balloon (which made Cole very happy since that was what he wanted to give me in the first place.) Even though I had to ask Allen to do it I could tell he was genuinely sorry for the lack of celebration on his part.

We BOTH have a lot of work to do to bring back a sense of special in what has become a war against routine and 110% caretaking.

Until then, I have high hopes for next year!

Making It All Worth It

A LOT of mornings in the Soup Bowl our home is filled with tears and frustration. There is too little space in our present second floor accomodations and one little baby girl who is rather obsessed with her big brother and his toys. Cole can't even go the bathroom without his sister trying to open the door... it sure is tough being a big brother!

So we have tears, we have screaming and then we have one mommy feeling like implosion is certain.

But every once in a while there is this tiny glimmer of hope...a kiss, a comment, a moment in time to freeze of a family sharing a moment that is pure and peaceful.

I was so lucky this morning to experience one of those moments as I was drying my hair getting ready for work.

Cole came up to me softly and wrapped his arm around me and said "How is my favorite girl in the world?"

SERIOUSLY?!

As tears came to my face from how sweet the gesture was...it was 7 words that made the rest of it all worth it.

Thank you to my favorite boy in the world.

Love, Mommy

It Sucks To Be THIS Mommy

It has been said that it takes a village to raise a child and in our family we call upon the village every day to help us make it through the day.

In my quest to keep our son out of aftercare we enlisted the help of our village...unselfish & giving family members who take turns picking him up at 2:45 pm each day.

It has been a successful but we know often taxing effort for the past several years until yesterday when I received a call that our village had failed....

Failed to pick up our first born that is.

The call went something like this...

The time: 6:02 pm The place: in line for mashed potatoes for Second Born at Popeye's

"Mrs. Mathas, this is Kim from LRSH, just checking to see who was picking up Cole today as he is the last child here?"

Mrs. Mathas: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT...." (much screaming to strangers surrounding me follows...second born dazed and confused in the back seat of the car)

As I screeched out of the fast food line trying to wrap my head around what had happened, was our village ok today...was there an accident...they could not have forgotten...

BUT THEY DID.

OK...so I am sure you are thinking what's the big deal...so he got to play in the school yard with his friends for a few hours...how bad can that be?

Well, we didn't get THAT kid. ANY change in his schedule completely freaks him out. If we take a different route to school this can cause an uproar so THIS was going to be a BIG deal.

As I raced to pick him up, thoughts raced faster in my head swirling with the plan of everything from my reaction when I would see him to what I would tell him...the truth or a tale?

I couldn't bear telling them that he was FORGOTTEN...I mean how do you FORGET a child? With visions of him sitting alone and crying feeling abandoned and cold out on a corner, I quickly pulled up to the school and put my best happy face on to greet him.

With a smile on his face and a quick kiss hello there were no immediate signs of scars or tears.

I decided to tell him that his C&D had an appointment that lasted way too long and they called me to come pick him up instead. He seemed ok with that and quickly got into the car to head home.

By this time second born is eating her foot she is so hungry and then the questions and comments begin."Mommy I was really sad when you left me in the school yard today...you left me for 72 years!!!"

There would be no throwing anyone under the bus today. My fate was already sealed.

In his eyes I was THE ONE who forgot him.

It SUCKS to be THIS Mommy.

Just One Year

Today my baby girl turns ONE! It has been such a blessing to have her in our lives and I have been so humbled to have a second chance of being a "first time" Mother. I had the chance to experience a "normal" delivery, a "real" homecoming day from the hospital and special early outings with her in the Soup Bowl. In those first few months I got to experience every wonder without a second of fear.

From day one I truly believed Carly was an old soul. EVERYTHING Carly did she did like she had done it a thousand times before. From eating to playing to walking - nothing actually seemed difficult or unfamiliar to her. Her eyes always seemed familiar and comforting to me.

There is a clothing brand called "Just One Year" and when you become a parent you quickly understand the true meaning of that.

Just one year to experience & share every FIRST in her life.

Just one year that she will probably allow me to dress her in everything I want and not what she demands!

Just one year that she looked at me like I am the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

Just one year of eating everything I gave her, sitting in her high chair and car seat without a battle and having the time of her life in the bathtub.

Just one year of unsolicited kisses and hugs.

I am hoping I get a little bit more time on some of these special days but for now I will cherish what I have gotten to experience of just one year.

Happy Birthday Carly!

The BIG Freeze

Much of our country is experiencing some of the worst snow storms and historic freezing temperatures than ever before. Today in the Soup Bowl, it is a bright, crystal day with perfect temperatures....however I wish we could have the big freeze.

A freeze to stop this moment, this time, these days, this sunshine with our historic FIRST ever win of Superbowl 44 last night in Miami. We are all literally walking on clouds in this city.

I wish I could freeze the kindness, love and extraordinary passion of a community who have come together for perhaps THE most special time in our cities history. Freeze the smiles, the hugs and the laughter that has rung through our streets for months now as the Saints marched on to gather our destiny.

I wish I could freeze the positive momentum of our city. With a newly elected Mayor followed by some of the best press our city has seen in decades, how could we not want to wake up from this incredible journey that has led to such a remarkable dream?

I wish I could freeze the beautiful innocence in my children's faces as I know how quickly this time will pass. As I collect historic newspapers and Saints Superbowl merchandise for their time capsules to "freeze the time" for them, I hope one day they will get look back and understand why their parents chose to stay in a city that many gave up on long ago.

For today, I choose to freeze it. God Bless the Soup Bowl!

Closings & Openings

14 Years ago we moved into our first home as a married couple in the Soup Bowl.

Our perfect little home... all of 1400 square feet had been a HUGE leap for us both emotionally and finanically. It was my first home away from the home that I grew up in for over 25 years and I remember thinking that it would never feel like "home." When we bought it, it was pink and black on the outside and didn't even have floors...but it had one beautiful Japanese Magnolia tree in the front yard that we adored from the very start.

Allen & Dad painstakingly nailed down the subfloors by hand so that the wood floors could be installed. We painted, we scrubbed, we decorated, we knocked down and we painted again and AGAIN.

We loved it....from top to bottom and it loved us back. It sheltered us from Katrina and provided me the only safe place & comforting haven when I was suffering so deeply. It protected me from all the instability that surrounded us.

It welcomed 2 children, 14 wedding anniversaries, countless birthdays and other celebrations that meant so much to us. It was here we said goodbye to our two loving cats...first Bean then Binx and our little family is still not complete without them. Now it is our turn to say goodbye to our little home that unfortunately is not growing as quick as we are.

It has been almost two weeks that we did our house closing. I was crushed when I realized I didn't get to say goodbye. Teary eyed as we signed the final paper, the new owner saw how pathetic I looked and allowed us to keep a key so I could say a proper goodbye and thank you and off I went. It felt so good to walk through once more...all alone to say a prayer of thanks.

It is now time for new openings....new paths and a new place to call home. We are not sure where it will take us yet and how our story will continue but we know and love that 132 Haroleans will be forever in our thoughts.

We started as 2 and leave as 4.

Thank you from all our hearts...Kellie, Allen, Cole and Carly

We Believe!

Last week in the Soup Bowl our former "Recovery Czar" said some extremely harsh words about our city...gee, get in line Mr. Blakely. Yet, in the midst of the continued criticism that we seem to face daily we have been experiencing some of the most exciting and invigorating events our city has seen in a LONG time!

First up: Two weeks ago, workers turned on the refurbished marquee lights at our very own Saenger Theatre which has been vacant since the witch "K" came through. If you grew up in the Soup Bowl you will always remember your first trip to the Saenger...perhaps it was to see Annie with your Mom and sisters like I did! What a night. I couldn't imagine not being able to bring my children to see their first theatre performance or Nutcracker Ballet at Christmas so this is truly a cause for much celebration. One thing I know for sure is that when 2011 rolls around we will be at the doors waiting for that first performance to that grand and exquisite piece of our history.

Second up: Last week was the Grand Opening of the expansion of the National World War II Museum & the awesome 4-D Victory Theatre movie! I got to take a sneak peak of the venue and it is truly one of the most innovative and first-class facilities in the COUNTRY. This place gives you shivers it is so impressive and it is NOT located in Washington D.C. or New York it is HERE in the Soup Bowl!

Last but certainly not least is the Saints. You would have to live under a rock in our WHO DAT NATION to not feel the positive vibe of our 8-0 team! I got to help produce an event for Feed The Children a few weeks ago with the Saints Offensive Line in tow helping to raise funds for the charity. As they stood on the front steps for a photo op it was a surreal moment looking at what COULD BE the next Superbowl Winning Team! On top of all this excitement, local band Cowboy Mouth just released a brand new single called "I Believe" that pretty much sums it all up for us so if you haven't heard it get ready for some inspiration!

I have said it before and I will say it again...it really is little to do about football or grand openings or our our food. IT'S ABOUT US. WE are what makes New Orleans special.

WE BELIEVE. We believe we are worth re-building at every level. We believe we stand together as people and as a city...faults and all. We believe we are worth fighting for. We believe in our children's future in this city. We believe in a Quarterback and Coach to lead a very SPECIAL team and city to a first-time victory!

So goodbye Mr. Blakely...we don't need you to believe because we believe in ourselves.

Final Score This Week: Soup Bowl 3 Former Recovery Czar 0