I Remember...
I Remember a celebratory lunch with my extended work family filled with boastful conversation of what lay ahead in the busy schedule of the Fall months.
I Remember waking up and hearing the words..."Category 5 headed directly to our home"...words I thought I would never hear in my lifetime.
I Remember unloading our belongings into that place that was supposed to be safe and protected and the words of strangers telling me that I had made such a good choice of not getting on the road.
I Remember when the newscasters signed off for the last time, the very first loss of electricity, winds that were completely horizontal and sirens that screamed for hours on end.
I Remember the sounds of broken glass under my flip flops and the hospital priest saying that "THIS is what it must have felt like to be on the Titanic."
I Remember heat beyond comprehension, the faces of human suffering, staggering worry and confusion of why water was rapidly rising.
I Remember saying goodbye to my mother in the middle of the highway, a car that somehow lasted on near fumes as we pulled into that station and a bloodied & petrified girl in the restroom that had just left the convention center.
I Remember hearing the familiar voices of my colleague and her family that gave us a safe place to take refuge in the darkness of night and the dreams of escaping from buildings with water that never seemed to end.
I Remember my son coming into the world and feeling like the pain I was feeling was nothing compared to the suffering of my city and her people and I had not suffered enough.
I Remember my son's first "home" away from home on a street perfectly named "Heavens Drive" where having family cradle us with love & support was more important than anything else in the world.
I Remember that October where thousands of butterflies filled our neighborhood...what a phenomenon that was and no better of a symbol of the rebirth that was about to unfold before my eyes.
I Remember standing in line for Houston's Restaurant because it was the only place in the city serving on china...something so simple but became obsolete in our search for our former "Big Easy lives."
I Remember a husband that became not only a hero but a healer, as a first-hand witness to a sickness that led me down a dark spiral for way too long.
I Remember a small team of colleagues reuniting and trying to carry a torch so dimly lit, while other teammates picked up and had to leave everthing they had ever known just to try and remain afloat.
I Remember I watched a dear colleague suffer through sickness and recovery and crying and telling stories at our very empty lunch table.
I Remember the joy of the grand re-opening of every restaurant that mattered to me and the pure bliss on children's faces with the re-opening of the zoo and the aquarium.
I Remember that first Mardi Gras morning the sounds of a bag pipe troupe playing "Amazing Grace" as 5,000 of my closest neighbors watched in awe of the peace that overcame us all as we stood in the middle of St. Charles Avenue.
I Remember the sparkle in the eyes of a High School student as he was presented a brand new musical instrument and his story of living alone for the past year so that he could complete his Senior year as a Purple Knight.
I Remember that night sobbing watching as the Saints took the field in the Superdome again and it seemed that it was then we became defiant against the naysayers and the people who didn't believe.
I Remember when our lunch table began to grow again and our stories shared more laughter than tears and the spectacular events that followed and one by one our torch grew brighter and stronger.
I Remember the loss of a dear friend who no longer could take the pain, daily wear & tear and the uphill battle that we continued to live through so like many others before him he ended his battle himself.
I Remember digging down deep to find the courage to give birth to my daughter in a city's health system that I no longer trusted and the joy of having a second chance of being a first time mother.
I Remember saying goodbye to our first home that I so dearly loved and relishing in the fun of every detail of building a new home.
I Remember a golden season that was pure divine intervention where black and gold confetti seamed to rain down from heaven during those magical days.
I Remember seeing a photo of myself from a celebratory lunch on the 26th day, where there are no signs of exhaustion, pain and struggle that seem to march across our faces so prominently today.
I Remember our journey over the last five years and through the pain, struggle and exhaustion the sheer gratitude and joy that each day brings that does not go unnoticed.
For that reason I choose to remember and never forget.
Kellie Hope Mathas
Dedicated to my fellow New Orleanians, my friends, family, colleagues, clients across the country and most of all, my husband who stood by me, my beautiful daughter who gives me light each day and most of all for my son Cole...who saved me when I thought I couldn't save him.
